HDF 100 –WTL 5

HDF 100 –WTL 5

HDF 100 –WTL 5

20 points

2 1/2  pages minimum (1 inch margins, double-spaced, 12 point font)                                                        


For this assignment, you will be considering the influence of expectations on

relationships with significant others. Expectations play a large part in the success or failure of relationships.  Relationships are more successful when each partner has really considered what their most important expectations are in a relationship and when the couple openly discusses them. To maximize the possibility of success, each partner should be willing to meet each others reasonable and most important expectations.

Often times, when these go unspoken, problems arise.  Therefore it is important to go into relationships with a clear understanding of your own expectations. These will evolve from the time you start dating as you gather experiences in a relationship and/or move from one significant relationship to another. Couples should be able to openly and honestly talk about expectations as they move towards commitment and/or marriage.


Write a paper that addresses the following items related to expectations for a relationship.  You should consider each of the questions and subsections of the following areas in your paper.


1.       What are some expectations that people sometimes have in relationships that             might be considered unreasonable? What are some possible reasons that some             people do not express their expectations directly, even when they are aware that             they have them ?  What are some examples of expectations of which people                   might be un aware, but they become more clear as they experience time and

          various interactions  with a person? (1/2 page minimum)


2.       In terms of expectations in relationships, there are some of which we are all very                well aware.  At this point in your life, what are some clear expectations you have             in terms of some of the following issues that present themselves in relationships?      (2 pages)

          a. Values: Primary values you seek in a committed partner

          b. Time:  How much should be spent together? How much time spent apart and/                                    or doing things with other people? How do you feel about your partner having                                     friends of the opposite sex and what do you think is appropriate in terms of                                 your partner spending time with them?

          c.  Sex: Who is responsible for deciding to use contraceptives, and                                                why? What is the best way to approach talking to partners about using

               contraception/birth control? What is the best way to approach protecting your                              self from sexually transmitted infections? How do you discuss this with new

               partners? If you or your partner became pregnant unexpectedly in your

               relationship  (The pregancy concern is not likely not relevant in gay and les                                bian relationships, so if you identify as gay or lesbian you can skip this ques                                tion or answer it hypothetically) would you expect to marry and raise the child                                   together? If not, how would you resolve the pregnancy and/or issues about                           raising the child?


          d.  What are your views on use of substances such as alcohol, cannabis or other                          drugs?  What would make this a problem in your relationship?

          e.  Finances: who should be the main financial provider for the household?                                       should it be more one person or the other, or shared equally?  How will you                               manage money (spending v saving)? If you were to marry, would you expect                            to have joint or separate checking/savings accounts? How should decisions                                      about large financial expenditures be handled?      


          f.  If you and your partner encountered severe problems in your relationship, how        would you attempt to resolve them?  What are your beliefs about divorce?                             Under what circumstances would you consider divorce as your only option?


3.       What are some “deal breakers” in terms of another person’s behavior (negative,                             toxic) in a relationship?  (Discuss at least four things that would cause you to                            end a relationship.)  While many people can identify these, what are some

          reasons that a person would not maintain a bottom line and continue to “put up”                         with toxic behavior from another person?